A year in the life of a newly qualified nurse...

When I received a letter informing me that my registration fee for another year was due I thought they must have the wrong person, but no, it has in fact been a year since I qualified as a registered nurse.

Part of me still feels new to this but I think there will always be that element to this job. I would love to say it has been the best decision I ever made but unfortunately that just isn't the case.

This past year has given me some of the most difficult experiences I have ever faced and although they have made me stronger and definitely provided me with a steep learning curve, in all honesty I have been left at the end of some shifts thinking have I made a massive mistake in choosing Nursing as a career path?

Leaving work feeling like giving my all was good enough are now few and far between. Going 8+ hours without a sip of water or a toilet break are now becoming a regularity rather than a rarity. All in all the expectations set upon you now are near impossible to fulfil. I'm sure I am not alone, I'm sure there are plenty of nurses feeling exactly the same but why? The sad thing is, if I had known this is what it would have been like I'm pretty certain I wouldn't have applied to University in the first place. But the feedback on my performance so far is glowing, I have been told several times now that I do not seem "newly qualified" and I'm moving in the right direction, so why do I feel like I'm not capable and struggling 9 times out of 10?

My third and final rotation will see me back in theatres, where if I'm honest I have wanted to work all along. Maybe knowing that I cannot see myself in the areas I have been currently has always been in the back of my mind, maybe that's why it's not all been a bed of roses, who knows. Here's hoping that sooner rather than later the dust will settle and I find an area I am comfortable with and enjoy.

Fingers crossed!